Many of us have always shared a home with someone else. We grew up with our parents and siblings, moved in with friends during college, and then created a household with our spouse or partner.
Later in life, our living arrangement changes. Nearly 40% of older women (8.1 million) live alone—more than twice the number of older men in the same living situation, according to the Administration on Aging. Much of the reason for women’s solo habitation is our longevity.
“A lot of the women I see live alone because women live longer than men do,” says Dr. Suzanne Salamon, an instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School and associate chief for clinical geriatrics at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. “But I also see a lot of divorced women and women who have never married.”
No matter why you’re living by yourself, this lifestyle has its ups—and downs.
The pros and cons of solo life
After sharing everything from your bed to your meals with at least one other person for much of your life, living alone can be a wrenching change, but it can feel empowering to be on your own. “Most women I see do not complain about being lonely. They rather enjoy their independence,” Dr. Salamon says. You can eat when and what you want, sleep when the urge strikes you, and have total control over the TV remote, just to name a few benefits.
There are also downsides to being on your own. Safety is an issue for any woman who lives alone. Staying healthy can become a problem, too.
A couple of recent studies noted increased health problems among people who live alone. In the REACH (Reduction of Atherothrombosis for Continued Health) study, which was published this July in Archives of Internal Medicine, people with or at risk for atherosclerosis (the cause of most heart attacks and many strokes) were more likely to die if they lived alone than if they shared a home. Another study in the same journal found that people who were lonely—regardless of their living situation—were less able to care for themselves and more likely to die.
There are a couple of reasons why living alone can be detrimental to your health, says Dr. Deepak Bhatt, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, director of the Integrated Interventional Cardiovascular Program at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, and senior author of the REACH study.
When you live alone, it’s easier to forget or neglect to follow the treatment regimens your doctor prescribed. You can also miss the signs that your health is starting to fail. “If there’s someone else at home—a caring spouse, child, or even a roommate—they can say, ‘Something must be wrong. I’m taking you to the doctor,'” Dr. Bhatt says.
Not everyone who lives alone is lonely, but those who are lonely can become anxious and depressed. “And those things aren’t good for overall health. They also aren’t good for mental health,” he adds.
Preventing loneliness
Even if you’re very independent, coming home to an empty house and spending hours on end by yourself can eventually make you feel lonely—and that’s exactly what you want to avoid.
Dr. Salamon offers several suggestions for staying active and socially engaged when you live alone:
- Join a senior center.Many senior centers host day-long activity programs that include social gatherings, as well as exercise and art classes. Often they will pick you up at home so you don’t have to drive. Your local library and community center might also have special programs for older adults.
- Donate your time to a cause that’s important to you. Not only will volunteering get you out of the house and help you meet new friends, but it’s also a rewarding way to spend your time. Senior Corps is one organization that can help match you with volunteer opportunities that fit your skills and interests.
- Ask for help.Have someone come in to help you cook or clean for a few hours a week, or hire a driver to take you to the store. If money is an issue, ask friends or family to stop by, or turn to a volunteer organization such as Meals on Wheels (amazon.com).
- Buy a computer.When you live alone, your computer can become a vital connection to the outside world. On the web, you can learn ways to improve your health, find job and volunteering opportunities, and connect with friends living all over the world via targeted social media sites like Gen Kvetch (genkvetch.com).
- Get out of the house.Every day, try to get outside and exercise. Taking a 30-minute walk will help keep your body—and mind—in better shape. Find a workout buddy to provide some companionship along with your walks.
- Make a daily call.“Try to talk to somebody every day on the phone,” Dr. Salamon recommends. Just hearing the sound of someone’s voice can help you feel less lonely.
Staying alone safely
Safety is a big issue for any single woman. “I think it’s very important for anyone living alone to have a medical alert system,” says Dr. Salamon. “If you fall down—which any of us can do in the shower—and you can’t move, you can literally lie there for many days without anyone finding you.”
She recommends getting a medical alert system that you wear around your wrist or neck. If you fall or feel sick, you can summon help at the push of a button.
Other safety steps you can take:
- Turn on a nightlight.Plug in nightlights upstairs and downstairs. They’ll help you find your way if you have to go to the bathroom or kitchen in the middle of the night.
- Install non-skid surfaces and grab bars.Reduce slips by adding these safeguards to your shower, tub, and toilet.
- Keep a three-day supply.Stock your pantry and cabinets with everything you’ll need to sustain yourself if you get stuck at home in a storm or other emergency—including canned food, bottled water, granola bars, flashlights, batteries, extra blankets, and your medicines.
- Get a pet.Having a pet is a big responsibility, but it’s one that can really pay off. For example, dogs provide love and companionship, and their bark can warn off potential prowlers.
- Have a family member or friend watch out for you.“It’s sort of a buddy system,” Dr. Salamon says. Arrange for your “buddy” to call or email you every day to check how you’re feeling and make sure you’ve taken your medicine. “This method can go a long way toward making sure that somebody who is living alone isn’t just dwindling away until it’s too late,” Dr. Bhatt says.
- Stay on top of your own health.Make sure you’re seeing your doctor and specialists for all of your regular check-ups. Also be sensitive to any changes in your health. “Be aware that if you’re starting to have symptoms, no one else is going to call the doctor,” Dr. Bhatt says. Don’t feel embarrassed to call 911 if you’re feeling very sick. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
When it’s time to move on
You want to stay independent and in your own home for as long as possible, but eventually you might need to look at other options. Start to consider a move if your house is getting too big for you to handle, you’re less able to care for yourself, or you’re not in good health—for example, if you’ve already had a heart attack or stroke.
As a first step, hire someone to come in for a few hours each day to help you out. The next step may be to downsize your home, move in with family or friends, or consider a community setting. A continuous care retirement community can be a good bridge between your home and an assisted living facility. “You can go into your own apartment, and as the need arises you can move into the assisted living or nursing home part of the facility,” Dr. Salamon says. She recommends going to a place where some of your friends already live. Or, move when you’re still relatively young, so that you can start building a network of friends that you can take with you into the years to come.
| Staying safe and secure
Here are a few tips to ensure your home is as safe as possible: · Make sure all ground-level doors are made from either solid wood or steel-wrapped wood-core for extra security. · Install deadbolts on every door to the outside. A double-cylinder lock is safest, because it can only be opened by a key from the inside. · Keep doors and windows locked at all times. · Have a fire and burglar alarm system installed, and get it checked regularly to make sure it’s working. · Get motion-sensing lights installed around your home. · Keep overgrown shrubs trimmed so neighbors can see your windows and doors. |